Communication breakdown is the leading cause of my job security.

This morning I was at the off-leash dog park with my 10-month-old pup, Lando.

He made a new friend.  

Or so I thought.

The other dog greeted Lando with an excited tail wag.  Then it bared its teeth, relentlessly chased him and nipped at every part of him it could reach.  The owner said her dog is just “mouthy” and playing, relying on its wagging tail. I shared my concern that her dog was sending signals of aggression, even if unintended, and I did not want to see the situation escalate.  Ultimately, we left.

Whether the other dog intended to play is almost beside the point.  Lando responded to the signals he perceived, not the intentions behind them.  It struck me that workplace communications are much the same way.

We often think communication ends when we’ve spoken.  In reality, it ends when the other person has interpreted what we said – and those aren’t always the same thing.  We often judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their impact.  That’s one reason communication breaks down so easily.

After more than 20 years of leading teams, litigating employment files and now conducting workplace investigations, I’ve lost count of the number of times a file originated from poor communication.  Quite often, one incident compounds on top of another, leading to a cycle of escalation until it eventually calls for my involvement.

If I had to pick one training investment that every organization should offer, it would be how to give and receive feedback.  Unfortunately, most of us have spent years giving and receiving feedback without ever being taught how to do it well.  But why not?

When organizations teach the skills at all levels of delivering and receiving feedback, every part of the organization functions more effectively.  People start attacking problems rather than each other.

In my view, effective feedback training must include role playing activities.  If we aren’t practicing the skills, we aren’t perfecting them. You will learn more about your team in one role playing exercise that you’ll learn in 10 conversations about the same thing.

Looking back, I still don’t know whether the other dog was aggressive or just awkward at play.  But I do know this:  Communication doesn’t end when we speak.  It ends when the other person understands what we meant.  Good intentions are rarely enough.

How do you think people best learn communication skills?